I just want a cute girlfriend who will sit on my lap at parties and on my face in the bedroom.
Girl: "Am I pretty?"
Girl: "Do you want to be with me forever?"
Girl: "Would you be upset if I walked away?"
Girl : "Would you cry if I died?"
She had heard enough and was hurt so she walked away with tears rolling down her face.
The boy grabbed her arm, and said, "Also, I fucked your best friend."
Married life with Ellen and Portia.
(Source: kayytx, via wanderlustandwishfulthinking)